As many of you may know already, a few years ago I had a very frightening experience that made me decide to quit having sex with men entirely. I wasn't even interested in having sex with a woman who slept with men, I wanted so little to do with the male sex. For a long time, I convinced myself that I simply didn't desire men anymore & even went so far as to publicly identify as a lesbian, just to cement my decision.

Well, this isn't the truth about me & recent events have made me realize just how much I was lying to myself. But, when it comes to sex, I have discovered that it really isn't about truth or lies, because sex isn't that black & white. Sexuality is a mostly gray area that we muddle through over the course of our lives, evading all of the defining labels we try to put on it.

So, again I am left without a category. No easy way to define myself. No neat little box I fit into. I wrote this blog to honestly discuss my sexual preferences & perhaps somehow weed out a label. Kind of a ridiculous endeavor, I know, but it'll be good for me, so here goes....

I've always known I favored women over men. On the Kinsey scale, I'm a pretty solid 4. All of the men I've dated have been fairly androgynous & most of them have been bisexual. I'm uncomfortable around straight men, they are too aggressive about getting into my pants. When it comes to who I'm attracted to, it really has little to do with biology, I think it has more to do with gender identity. I don't like overly masculine energy, it makes me uncomfortable & it does not turn me on. But, that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to men, quite the contrary. There are many men who have enough feminine characteristics to make me drool all over them.

I prefer women. I like their smell, feel, look & taste better then that of men. Biologically, I like women better. I don't like hairy, stinky, dirty boys. :P Too much testosterone...Blech... I hate facial hair with a fiery passion, too prickly. But, I'm also turned off by overly butch women, especially drag Kings...again, too masculine...

I'm fairly comfortable with identifying as a Lesbian, I just don't like the idea that this somehow limits me to expressing only one side of my sexuality. A few months ago, I started a Femme lesbian group & I realized just how exclusive lesbians tend to be. There are only a few girls in the group with whom I feel really connected & I found myself censoring the topics of conversation, so as not to ruffle any feathers. I'm not comfortable with lying to my friends about anything, I can't really say they are true friends if they don't accept me for who I am, honestly.

I don't feel comfortable with the label bisexual, because I don't consider myself bi. I don't like guys that much. But I don't feel I can call myself gay either because I'm not exclusively attracted to women. And I am certainly not straight. ;) I think queer is a term I'm pretty comfortable with these days...not so limiting...I also like pansexual. Basically, I like sex. Mostly with women, or pretty, androgynous men. I like touching & cuddling & kissing & orgasms. I love my body & I want to enjoy it. I guess that also means I fit into the hedonist box. ;)

I want to surround myself with people who are open-minded about sex & sexuality. As much as I love my lesbian sisters, I just don't feel comfortable limiting my sexual experiences to only women. Although my experience in the past scared me, letting it affect me now will only give it power over me. I choose to not live in fear, I choose a limitless world. Limitless choice...it doesn't mean I want everything that is out there, but I have the CHOICE to want or not want whatever...I'm no longer limited by a label.

Of course, figuring this out has brought to light other issues that I am now sorting through, but I am emerging on the other side with a much more open view of the world & a new perspective on relationships & family. Astrologically, my generation is dealing with new definitions of relationships & family, especially marriage. This generation will form family units that defy current, as well as traditional roles & ideas. I am proud to be a part of this generation & I choose to embrace the idea of loving relationships that cross all boundaries & defy all categories. Love is not limited to two people, one male, one female who are legally bound to each other. I want to be a part of a world that openly embraces me, regardless of the box I happen to fit into. Gandhi once said "Be the change you wish to see in the world." That is what I'm choosing to do now. I am going to be open to love in all of it's forms, because that is the world I'd like to exist in.

As many of you already know, I found out a while ago that I was suffering from adrenal fatigue. As I read up on how to heal myself, I found several articles about the benefits of jumping on a mini trampoline for at least 40 minutes a day.

Yesterday I finally went out and bought a trampoline. It has turned out to be the best $60 I've ever spent. This morning I put it together and used it for 10 mins. I feel sooooooo good right now! Like I was just injected with a bunch of B-vitamins kinda good. :D

I plan to use my mini trampoline as often as I can from now on and I highly recommend that everyone buy themselves one. It has the least impact on the joints of any form of exercise next to swimming and is one of the best forms of exercise to increase lymph flow and the immune system. You can read more about the many amazing benefits of jumping here.

And of course, it is just so much fun! I was watching the movie Hancock, which has a really groovin' soundtrack, while jumping this morning. I love exercise I can do while watching tv! ;D

Tributes to Chaotic Alignment:

Chaotic Good Tribute

Chaotic Neutral Tribute

Chaotic Evil Tribute

Other funny Alignment pix:

Alignment Tribute

And a Lolcat Alignment Table, you know......for the lulz......

Lolcat Alignment Tribute

I am always amused by those who constantly complain about never finding love, even though they are surrounded by people who love and adore them. In these cases, it's usually that they aren't getting love from the one person they believe to be "true" or "perfect". No wonder they can't find love! If you are only open to a tiny trickle of love because it is in the form you believe is "perfect" or "true" then you will only have that small trickle in your life & no more. If you open to the universal bounty of love in all it's forms, who knows how much love you could have in your life? This is why I choose to be open.

These days I am open to love, in any and all it's forms. I believe I am on this earth & in this body to spread love & light to anyone who seeks it. I wasn't always this way, for much of my life I lived in fear & doubt. I struggled with being able to love, trust & be happy. It seemed too scary to open myself up, I was afraid of being hurt. As ironic as it sounds, most people live in fear & pain because it is what they know. In a strange way, we are comfortable there. This hinders growth & keeps us closed off to the universal life energy. But fear of the unknown can be overwhelming. Our bodies are very powerful vehicles and their power to control us cannot be taken lightly.

In the past, when I have judged the love I have received to be good or bad or "worthy", I was sad most of the time; I felt lonely & brokenhearted and I felt as though I would never find love or happiness. I was also very defensive towards the people I cared about; I never felt that I could trust the love I received from others. All kinds of judgment & fear surrounded love in my mind, so much so that I shut myself off from love for fear of pain.

When I changed my perspective, I suddenly wasn't afraid. I opened my heart to the love that was in the universe and invited it into my life, without judgment or reservation. All of the sudden, I could feel love all around me, and I could also see truth. Love is pure goodness, but being afraid of being open to it skews our perspective until love is a lie. When you open yourself to love, truth comes along with it. Everything is one, after all, it is only our fear that separates us from that knowledge.

I am full of peace, happiness & certainty everyday now. The universe is like a big fluffy blanket wrapped around me, protecting me. This is in stark contrast to the big, scary world about which I used to be so wary & that used to suck me dry & use me up at every turn. When you see truth through love, there is no deception, it is impossible. You cannot be taken advantage of if you are aware of the oneness that is a part of all of us.

I'm not perfect. I still struggle with my feelings on a daily basis. This is part of the challenge & great gift of being in a body. But, I am AWARE. I strive to see truth, uncluttered by my physical emotions. I understand that this body is subject to the reality it exists in & the energy around it. But, it doesn't have to control me. I am master of my reality & I strive to retain control of my emotions. I believe that this ability is what is known as enlightenment. I'm so glad I found enlightenment & I encourage everyone to seek it. It's very nice to be so full of love & peace all the time. Being One with the Force is definitely the place to be! :D

Recently, I have discovered that I have been suffering from adrenal fatigue for the last four years or so. Adrenal fatigue sucks! You can read more about the signs & symptoms here. I have all of the symptoms listed & others that I've read on other sites. This condition has changed my life in countless ways, for the last four years these changes have all been bad, but recently, they've turned around for the better. How do one's adrenals become fatigued & what can one do to help themselves if they have this condition? I know that countless people these days suffer from adrenal fatigue and have no idea why they feel so horrible all the time, because it's not a medical condition that doctors test for, so it commonly goes undiagnosed & untreated. I thought that writing down my own story might help others get help like I have.

I have always been a high energy type person. In my 20's, I also did a lot of stimulants. I never loved coffee, I was more into energy drinks & sugar, lots of sugar! I also did a fair bit of cocaine & other drugs, drank my fair share of alcohol & smoked cigarettes for a good bit of that time as well. In 2002, when I was 24 years old, I began suffering from insomnia, anxiety & depression. So, I went to a doctor who misdiagnosed me as bipolar & put me on psychmeds. In 2003, I moved back home to San Jose because my life was falling apart around me. I went to another doctor for a while there who told me that I didn't seem to be very bipolar & that I exhibited symptoms of sugar sensitivity & that many of my symptoms may be alleviated if I were to cut sugar & stimulants out of my diet. He even recommended a book about sugar sensitivity, which I promptly bought, thinking it was a great idea, but ended up cracking it open maybe twice. I still wasn't ready to quit my crazy lifestyle.

Over the next year or so, however, my crazy lifestyle really started to take a toll on me. I was working with children when I lived in San Jose, which is a another huge drain on the adrenals. I began to have full-blown panic attacks, something that had never happened to me before. I began to be really sensitive, emotionally, mentally & physically. My allergies, which had never been bad, got much worse & I developed asthma. I couldn't stand loud music anymore, it would cause me to go into a panic attack just being at my once-loved trance parties, the loud music & over-stimulation was just too much! I also became increasingly reclusive & sensitive towards people in my life, driving many of them away due to my inability to relate to people without becoming overwhelmed. I've always been a sexual person, but my interest in sex became almost non-existent. My stress coping abilities were gone, my skin started to age faster & any excess stress would cause my hair to fall out. I stopped being able to go to family functions because they were just too overwhelming. I couldn't go to school, homework & even attending class regularly & on-time would cause me to panic. Some days, my fatigue was so bad that my limbs felt like lead & the depression verged on suicidal. I had horrible lower back pain & I developed really bad headaches & even migraines, which I had never had before in my life either. I've always had a robust immune system, the last of my brothers & sisters to ever get sick; but all of the sudden I was coming down with monthly viruses.

Basically, adrenal fatigue took my whole life as I knew it away from me. Of course, I only have myself to blame, as it was I who did all of the things that drained my adrenals in the first place. But, I also feel that I could have been helped sooner if there was more awareness of this disease out there. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I couldn't work because of my symptoms, & when I did work, it made my symptoms worse. But, the state deemed me to be healthy because I don't have a diagnosable illness. I never received any aid & so I continued to have to work & keep myself sick the entire time. So, in the end, I went for seven long years before I finally found help & now I'm just beginning what will probably be a two year recovery.

Thankfully, one of my best friends (who was too tenacious to let me push her away), decided to become a nutritionist. It wasn't until we decided to work out a trade with nutrition for massage, that we really got to the core of my issues. It's really made me rethink a lot of things that I've done & said in the past few years. I really believed that I had just changed into the ill person I was, when really it was the illness that was keeping me from being myself! Even though I've just begun the healing process, I am excited for the first time in years, mainly due to the fact that I know I can get better! I'm not doomed to live a half-life for the rest of my time on this earth. It's a big relief & although I still suffer from the majority of my symptoms daily, I know now that they are merely signs of a dis-ease that I will soon be rid of, so it makes them easier to bear. One of the symptoms that has vanished almost entirely since I discovered that I was ill is the depression. Now that I see a light at the end of the tunnel, I don't feel so completely hopeless.

Most of the work I've done to recover so far has been with my diet. I will eventually start re-balancing my hormone levels through supplements, but the diet is the most important place to start because food is (or should be anyway) the way we get our nutrients & keep balance & health. Already I have seen & felt changes in myself since starting this diet. I've been calling it "The Magic Food Diet", because it has made me feel so much better, it's unbelievable to me at times! Most people shy away from "Magic Food" because they see it as "Hippie Food" & are convinced that it won't taste good. Well, I've always loved healthy food, so trying the diet wasn't an issue for me. But, I think that even if I didn't already like healthy food, I would have after eating this food for a week. I enjoy eating so much more than I used to, & I've also noticed that my senses are keener, so the food tastes & smells better, in fact, everything smells better! I sprayed on some perfume the other day that has been smelling less & less yummy over the last several months, & it smelled great! Not stronger, better....it's very interesting......Also, my libido has started to perk up, my allergies are lessening & I've had more energy in general.

I'm so excited to be well, but a big part of healing from adrenal fatigue is REST, REST, REST! As I mentioned at the start, I am naturally energetic & sitting still & doing nothing has never been my forte. But, I have learned to force myself to do nothing because I want to be well! If there's one thing that this whole experience has taught me, it's to conserve my strength! I want to do great things in my lifetime & I only have a mortal amount of strength. Therefore, I must direct my energy toward the things that will be useful for me & help me to achieve my goals. Due to my crazy energy expenditure in my early 20's, I now have to pace myself even more if I want to be successful in life. I dearly wish I hadn't wasted all those years, but we can't go back, only forward, so I have to make the best of where I'm at now.

Anyway, I will keep you updated throughout my healing process & I hope you've all been entertained by the happenings so far! Stay tuned!

Disclaimer: If you feel that you might be suffering from adrenal fatigue, please contact a health professional. There is a lot of information out there about adrenal fatigue & most of the advice they give freely on the websites really shouldn't be followed without the supervision of a qualified health practitioner. You can make your symptoms worse by following advice that may not work for your body specifically. If you don't know where to find a qualified health practitioner, let me know, I know a great one!

Lately, I've been dealing with the issue of communication. In massage school, we spend a lot of time talking about communicating effectively with our clients. I think my school is unique in this, or that if other practitioners have learned such essential skills, they've forgotten them or thrown them out long ago. Mainly, we discuss how to communicate in a way that is non-threatening. In my experience, people become defensive if you tell them they are doing something wrong. Sure, there are certain people who respond well to being told what to do & how to do it, but on the whole I think validation is key if you'd like people to listen to you. As a massage therapist, even I, as conscious as I try to be with my clients and friends, still find myself focusing on the negative sometimes. I find myself saying "wow, this is a really tight muscle" which usually only serves to make the person I'm talking to feel defensive & paranoid about their accumulated stress patterns, which in no way helps them release that built up strain.

One word that has come up a lot lately, both in school as well as in my personal life, is the word "should". "Should" is a weighty word. In my experience, "should" makes people feel defensive & should be avoided at all times, with any situation, although especially with clients. When you tell someone what they "should" do, you are making the assumption that you know better than the person you are talking to. Personally, when someone says to me "you should do ......" or "you should not do...." it immediately makes me feel very defensive, following which I will almost always stop listening to that person. I have been given a lot of health advice in this manner, none of which I have taken or acted on however, due to my aversion to being told what to do.

I understand that not everyone is the same way as me, I tend to have a reverse psychological reaction to being told what to do, & as I stated previously, I know there are people out there who enjoy being ordered around. Personally, I've never met anyone who likes to feel that they way they are living their life, what they do in their free time, what they put in their mouth etc., is bad or wrong in any way. Even the most compliant people get defensive when you tell them that they "should stop drinking soda" or that they "should get some more exercise". As a health practitioner, I realize that in most cases, it's because of my concern for the well-being of a person that I might tell them what they "should" do, but I have also seen person after person shut down & completely tune me out when I start in with even the most well meant advice, if it happens to contain the word "should".

I know all of my friends who are health practitioners are going to read this & feel defensive. I'm sure their first thought will be "I NEVER do that with my clients!" But, be honest, how many times have you done it with a friend? Or a family member? It's usually those we care for the most that receive an earful of "shoulds" from us. We all make mistakes & I'm sure I will "should" more people in my lifetime than I care to admit. But, I do my best to try & be conscious of it, & when I do find myself advising people in a bossy manner, I try to find another word that holds less weight. My favorite lately is "you could try....., it might help" or "maybe if you stopped ..... you would see an improvement". My big thing lately is simply getting people to try something. Often that is the biggest battle & once you get the person to try what it is you are recommending, the positive results are validation enough for that person to continue with the treatment. My job is fairly easy, as most people who try massage feel good & so have a positive feedback loop that encourages them to continue with the bodywork therapy. I have a lot of sympathy for any health practitioner who is working with responses that aren't immediate, as the positive re-enforcement just isn't there right away.

In any case, sometimes just getting someone to try something, even if they love it, isn't enough for them to commit to a program that they have to maintain on a daily or weekly basis. I & many other health practitioners have told stories about the frustrating clients who commit only halfway to making changes & come in week after week with the same complaints. This can be very frustrating, because I know from personal experience that their problems would be totally resolved if they would just commit to wellness. But, as one of my wise teachers once told me, it's very difficult to get people to leave their comfort zone. I have a lot of admiration for the people who can take the leap into a new world of health & wellness, however I don't know a single person who doesn't get hung up on at least one or two bad habits. I think that as health practitioners, we will have more successful, thriving practices if we are gentle with people & understand that we all want to be happy & healthy, but it's hard to make changes & the more extreme the change, the more difficult it is for us to make.

It is a daily challenge to avoid falling into bad communication habits, but as I do have an intense interest & heartfelt desire to help people, I have committed to being a conscious practitioner in every way that I can. Even if the progress is at a snail's pace, I always try to focus on & reward all positive changes, no matter how small. I also try as best as I can to keep my big mouth shut when I feel the criticisms bubbling to the surface. Of course, I am human so I make mistakes, but I believe that it's trying that is really essential to making any kind of improvement in one's life & so I keep trying. I feel that having a good health practitioner by your side to cheer you on & encourage you to keep trying & get back on the horse when you fall is an incredible gift for any of my clients or loved ones. We all get discouraged & being discouraged is the reason a lot of people give up. I believe I chose the profession I'm in because I have a naturally encouraging nature & I'm very positive. But, even if it comes naturally to me to be enthusiastic & positive, I still need to also be conscious of my actions every day, as I believe that is also key to successfully helping people improve their health & their lives.

A couple things I've observed about people lately:

Most people take themselves & everything else WAY too seriously. People are very pessimistic & tend to look on the dark side, instead of the bright side. It's my belief that laughter is the best medicine & if you can laugh at something terrible, it holds less power. But, most people seem to give their fears & problems a lot of power by focusing on them.

People spend a lot of time focusing on the faults of others, instead of looking at their own faults. Also, people tend to protest or be offended by the things they are most disgusted by in themselves. Usually when people adamantly claim that they are NOT something, is when one can truly see what they ARE.

This has been a general observation, it's not written about any one person, but several. I used to be exactly like the people I described, but I have spent much of the last few years working on these issues. Luckily, living with Joey was a great help for me & I have been able to successfully get over much of my pessimism. Also, since hypocrisy is one of my biggest pet peeves, I have spent most of my life attempting to refrain from protesting too much, as I see that people who do this are often guilty of the very things they protest about.

Since moving, I have noticed that with Joey, I lived a very sheltered life, one that the rest of the world does not seem to share. It's hard to stay positive in a world that sees everything through shit-colored lenses, but I try, because it's much nicer to look on the bright side of life whenever possible. I just wish that there were more people in the world who liked celebrating nonsense for absolutely no reason at all. :-)

So, about 3 months ago I cut sugar out of my diet almost entirely. Quite a few doctors have suggested to me over the years that sugar might be the cause of my extreme mood swings, but I was a total sugar addict, so I didn't listen. Well, it turns out, they were right! I find it really ironic that sweet, sweet sugar turned me into a crazy bitch for so many years. :-) Yesterday was perfect proof that sugar was the culprit for my meanness, I started my period, but didn't bitch or snap at ANYONE! Of course there are other factors that have created a kinder, more gentle moi, but the sugar has amused me the most! :-) Of course it was the hardest to give up, as sugar is in EVERYTHING, but I have managed to almost completely eliminate it from my diet. I feel so much more balanced & centered, it's great.

I was looking at some pictures that someone uploaded onto facebook today & marveling at how weathered some of my old friends are looking....This made me curious as to how I'd aged, so I decided to compare a recent picture of myself with my senior HS portrait, which was taken 12 years prior:

Me Then:


Me Now:


I pretty much look the same, don't I? I apparently learned to keep my eyes open for the camera & I also learned to pluck my eyebrows, but other than that, I'm the same girl I was when I was 18....hooray for aging gracefully!

About a month ago, I discovered that my stepdad has been playing soccer with the Homecoming King from my HS graduating class. When I found this out, I went onto Myspace & Facebook, inspired to check up on my old classmates. This yielded some interesting results......

First, I want to remind everyone that my High School experience was rocky. Right after my parents' separation in '94, I was ostracized from my group of girlfriends who I was hanging out with at the time. Their excuse for outcasting me was because I was gay, something which I wasn't aware of myself at that time. After that, I didn't really create any other close friendships with anyone in school & I have had issues with trusting people ever since.

So, in my search of the social networking sites, I friend requested anyone with whom I had been on friendly terms in HS & got in touch with some of the people I did care about back then. One of the people whose facebook page I found was Jin, who ironically enough had remained my friend in HS & beyond, even after the rest of the group denied me. Jin was the first girl I ever kissed as well, an event which solidified my interest in girls & my eventual realization that I am gay.

Well, Jin has always been a Christian, something that we shared when we first became friends. I noticed that on her facebook page, Jin joined the group "One Man, One Woman, One Marriage, Yes on Prop 8". Talk about bringing back horrible memories of not being accepted in High School! Seeing that brought back so many insecurities, which the passing of said proposition has really sealed for me today. I've been incredibly sad all day, it sucks to feel like something you have no control over makes you an outcast.

I am happy that an African American man will be the President of the United States. But, my own cause still has a loooong way to go in the world before I will live as a true equal to everyone else. As happy as I am to see equality in general progress, I'll be happier when I too have equal rights.

I want to discuss gayness & the world's perspective on it...

Many Christians defend being anti-gay with certain scriptures in the Bible. When Christians do this, they always fail to see that they are quoting a book that was written so long ago, that using it to define the modern world is really ridiculous. For example; if you went to the doctor because you had a cold & the doctor suggested that the illness was in your blood & if he could just let all that diseased blood out you would be cured, would you let him bleed you? Your answer would probably be an emphatic "NO!" followed by promptly leaving the doctor's office, exclaiming loudly about his obvious lunacy, right?

Well, the passages in the Bible that were written against gays were very much concerned with the spread of disease. In fact, recently, the Jews admitted that the Old Testament only speaks against gay male sex, & says nothing about lesbians. This makes sense in a time when medical science didn't even exist in the world. Ancient people all over the world, even cultures in which homosexuality was rather accepted, such as ancient Greece, still warned against having anal intercourse, as it was known to spread disease. The Greeks bypassed anal sex by practicing intercrural sex, or sex between the thighs, with no actual penetration of the bum.

Besides the spread of disease, the Bible is also concerned with what is defined in the modern world as marriage & family. This is easy to understand if you look at the need for any religion to spread itself. If you want people to believe something, the easiest time to brainwash anyone is when they are young, in fact, the younger the better. So you often see many religions, especially the more fanatical ones, sticking close to the idea of strong family units with as many children as possible. Of course in this case, homosexuality is bad because it means abandoning the biological means to have children. But, this argument means nothing outside of religious contexts. Our world is greatly overpopulated, having fewer children is not a burden on anyone, in fact, having fewer children can relieve the burden of overpopulation in many countries. Besides that, there are many ways to have children that don't require a traditional man & woman relationship, women everywhere have babies without being married & there's adoption as well. This obsession by the Christians to hold all human life to be sacred, but only if that human life is deemed acceptable by a book that was written multiple centuries ago, is really growing more & more obviously biased towards an outdated agenda.

Another twist on the anti-gay attitude here in the good ol' US of A, is that our country was first populated by & later founded by Puritan Christians, a very radical group of Christians who believed that woman were evil because of the sins of Eve, & also that everyone should take the Bible as literally as possible. Hence breeding many of the attitudes we see among modern Americans, such as historically fewer rights for women & taking passages out of the Bible very literally & out of context. Bible thumpers are a product of the Puritans.

Astrologically, our planet is moving out of the Age of Pisces & into the Age of Aquarius. The Age of Pisces has been defined by the Christian religion, who's symbol is a fish, the symbol of Pisces. The Age of Aquarius is bringing in amazing advancements in science & technology, along with a sense of universal brotherhood among all people & tolerance & equality for all. Christianity is beginning to lose it's hold on the world. I see Prop 8 as being a good example of this. Even though Prop 8 has passed, the race was so close that it was pretty much even, they passed it by only 2%, in contrast to Prop 22 in 2000, which passed with 10% more support than this year. Obama being elected as President is also an example of this transition into an age of Brotherhood instead of Division. Obviously there will always be Christians, just as there are still Jews, even though their religion was a big part of the Age of Aries, which was before Pisces. But the Age of Aquarius will be one of tolerance & acceptance, so at least the Christians who still exist won't be ruling the world & it won't matter so much what you believe, as long as you respect the beliefs of others. I'm sure the Age of Aquarius will have it's own set of challenges, but hopefully intolerant religions won't be one of them.

Here's hoping for a better future.....

Favorite Halloween quote EVER! Spoken by zombie John Lennon: "All we are saying is let's eat some brains." ROFLMAO.....

My Mom's 50th birthday party was last night at Thai Pepper restaurant in San Jose. It was a wonderful event, with tons of Thai food, two cakes, and two lovely Thai dancers. My Mom looked great & my heart was very warmed by the multitude of people that had all come to celebrate her! My Mom is so very popular! :-) It was a wonderful way to recognize & honor such a fantabulous person & awesome Mom. I love you Mom & I wish you AT LEAST another 50 years!

The weather has shifted. For some reason, this always makes me very happy. I love this time of year. It makes me think of spending time with my loved ones & eating yummy food. It's been storming all night, the rain & wind sound comforting & familiar. I guess I don't suffer from S.A.D., huh? :-)

Ooh Lala!

 

( A Fun Quiz! )

I took this quiz b/c of my Mom, 2wanda.

( Bette Davis Eyes..... )

New look.....not quite so eye-melting.....You Likey???

I just got back from a burlesque dance audition that went pretty well. My feet weren't cooperating as much as I'd hoped they would, I haven't done choreography in a loooong time! But no matter how much I messed up, I just kept smiling & tried my best to keep up. I think they'll ask me to join the troop, but we'll see......

In other dancing news, I finally heard back about the go go dancing audition I had almost a month ago. I'm on the list & they'll contact me when they need a dancer! Woot! Unfortunately, last time I was on a go go dancer list, it took them a year to actually contact me, so again, we'll see.....

If anyone knows of any go go dancer positions in SF, let me know, I'm up for another audition. I've actually been having a lot of fun auditioning! :-) Hopefully one at least will pan out to be a real gig.

I had an interview at a spa today, & two phone interviews that went very well. The spa interview went so well that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have that job. She kept asking me for comments & suggestions & she kept asking me to please make sure that I let her know if I wasn't interested anymore once I got home. One of the phone interviews was for an outcall service & the woman seemed extremely disappointed when I told her I couldn't get to the hotels in an hour from out here where I live. The other phone interview started out badly, with the guy poo-pooing my level of education & lack of previous spa experience; until I told him that I only applied at his studio b/c one of my teacher's suggested that I should. So, now I have an interview with them on Tuesday morning, & even better, they're going to pay me $20 just for the practical part of the interview. I'm sure the practical will get me the job there, I have no doubt about it, I'm that good. So, it looks like I'll be able to get a job soon, without much difficulty, Hooray!